Young Padawan,
I received your letter requesting
advice on balancing your obligations to your family with funding the pursuit of
your goals. It is a difficult one to respond to, as I am in similar shoes and I
am adjusting my approach as I go. I will share what I have learnt from others
and found out for myself, and I hope it helps you.
Let us start with some common
ground: you are partly responsible for
your family. Your parents and siblings should not suffer lack of food,
clothing, or healthcare if you can do something. They have shared good and bad times
with you, loved you in health and nursed you through sickness, and as you
mentioned – sacrificed to pay for your education. Yes, you did not ask to be
born, and many of these things are parental responsibilities. But, do you ever wonder
how things would be different if they hadn’t performed these duties?
More common ground: you need to work towards achieving your
goals and must save the money you need to make them happen. When done the
right way, the pursuit and (hopefully) attainment of these goals will bring you
happiness and fulfillment. I have heard life becomes boring when you stop growing
and reaching for more. The last thing I want is for you to die with regret –
knowing you did not become all you could have been. Therefore, you must find a
balance that allows you invest in your future while supporting your family.
My recommendation is simple. You
should determine a fair amount to share with them every month, and stick to
that ceiling except for health-related emergencies. You should consider how
much you need to save and invest towards your future, how much you need to live
comfortably, and how much they need to meet their important needs. This is not
the time for your father to marry a new wife or take a new title. Do not
jeopardize your future to satisfy their wants.
Help them to understand that your
progress impacts positively on their conditions too. The more resources you
have, the more you can share with them. When your earning power increases or
your business becomes more profitable, you will have more disposable income to share
with them. You can either let them eat your seed now, or plant it in the hopes
of a bumper harvest. Do not give in to cheap blackmail.
This is my current best approach.
It has evolved over the past few years, and may yet change. I will let you know
if it does, and how so.
Cheers, to your success.
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